(The Communities Dominate blog has acquired the secret recording of the phone call between Donald Trump and Bill Clinton, just before Trump announced he is running for office. It is revealing on what was discussed)
Hi Don, how are you?
I’m fine, Bill, how are you, and how’s the missus?
She’s fine, running for President. Thanks for asking. What’s on your mind.
Can I help you in some way? The Foundation, can I send you some money? Or Hillary’s campaign, would you like me to send you a million?
No, Don, honestly, we are good. We may come to you later, but right now, there is no need for more money.
Well, I feel I have to do something. There are so many issues where you two are on the right side of history and we have to get things fixed. Like Obamacare. Its yes a small step in the right direction, but its never going to work if so many are still uninsured. It has to be a national socialized medicine solution like Hillarycare.
Yeah we know.
And the taxes. I love not paying as much in taxes as my secretary or my daughter, but it is unfair, and I would not mind the least in paying the same. Those Bush tax cuts were moronic. He’s a moron, like his moron brother and their moron dad.
Yeah, no argument here.
But yeah, taxes. Come on, I’d be ok with paying somewhat higher taxes than the average, we don’t need lesser taxes for billionaires! We have enough money to live. Its the poorest who need some relief, especially after the past decade.
I know, that is partly what Hillary is pushing.
Yeah, I know. But look at that buffoon Mitt Romney, even in a pure economy election he lost to a sitting President whose popularity was under 50%. Only a loser could throw that election away.
Yeah, we laughed about that with Hillary.
So yeah, is there anything I could do? Are you sure you don’t want a million, I could write the check right now, I have my checkbook open. What is it that you really want, Bill?
Haha, you know what would be funny, if you ran for the Republican ticket.
No, for real this time. Not just this coy game of ‘will Trump run’ but imagine if you ran for real. Don’t think of it as a job, think of it as a reality TV show, where you would play the role of a fictional extreme Conservative President. Like Ronald Reagan played that role in the 1980s.
Haha, yeah, that could work, I could do that.
So imagine the issue with the wall at the Mexican border. What would the most extreme Republican nominee do? He wouldn’t just say build a wall...
He’d say I will build the biggest wall!
Yes, the best, most beautiful wall ever.
Yeah, and you know, a Trump Wall, if my company was to build it, I would make it the biggest gold-plated shiny wall that ever existed. One with shining neon lights all night and so huge, it would be visible from space!
You would, wouldn’t you?
Yes, and then I’d say it wouldn’t cost anything.
Because I’d say I would make the Mexicans pay for it
Hahahahahahaaa, you’re killing me.
Yeah, this could work
And it could be fun. How about immigration. What is the most extreme position you can think of?
I’d deport them all. No amnesty, not even for kids born here.
Yeah, that would get the racists vote. You’d start off with what, 3% maybe 5% of the Republican vote straight on the day you announced.
Then there is that moron McCain. I hate it that he gets that hero treatment. I’d call him out on that, the wimp.
Yeah, that probably would get you the anti-McCain vote. There is plenty of military veterans who probably would be annoyed, but the small anti-McCain vote would find the ‘first sane’ voice in years and would rally to your side.
How big do you think that would be?
Not big, but several percent for sure. Say 5%.
So I’d be at 10%. Thats still not worth doing.
Remember the field is 15 candidates, you’d only need to cross 20% to win Iowa, haha
Ok, what else is there that can be grabbed.
How about the anti-media vote. If you attack a TV celebrity like say Megyn Kelly, you’d be a hero for standing against the lame-stream media, like Sarah Palin calls them
Yeah, besides she’s a bit too cocky, I wouldn’t mind giving her some of my New York mind in some interview
Or a TV debate
Yeah, TV debate, big audience, even better. Yeah, in a TV debate. How big do you think that voter base would be?
I think you’d get another 5% maybe even 10% if you attacked the media through a clear icon. Plus the bonus is that she’s a woman, you’d enrage some women but they’d be voting for Hillary anyway
And I wouldn’t mind that, Hillary’s gonna win anyway
But you would get some of the oppressed male vote who fear strong women. I’d say you’re at 20% if you did all that.
Hey, this is easy. What else can I go for
Well, then there are the myths with the Bush years.
Oh, yeah, I hate all those lies that took us to the wars, and the anti-terrorist propaganda that got us the spying and nonsense.
Yeah, I think Jeb Bush might be vulnerable on his brother.
Haha, I could jab him about that ‘he kept us safe’ silliness that the right wing bozoz are aping on Fox.
Gosh, that would yes anger the Cheney-Rumsfeld warmonger wing
Would there be more votes in that?
Actually yes, a part of the Republican base actually hate the Bush dynasty, not unlike some in our Democratic party fear Hillary for a Clinton dynasty
Wait until they see President Chelsea the third Clinton, thats when they should be worried
Haha, yeah, we’re grooming her, but lets take Hillary there first.
So you think Bush has haters
For sure, probably a third of the Republican base, but you would not get them all because some you’d already have, and many would be turned against your other comments. But I’d say you could get to say 25% if you attacked Jeb relentlessly
He’s actually a nice guy, not really killer instinct like his dad or his dumb brother, I’d hate to do that to Jeb
But remember Don, you’d be acting a part. What would JR Ewing do on Dallas? He’d be ruthless. That is how you should think. Like the TV Trump, you’re fired!
And Jeb is certainly too wimpy to be President. Gosh he has no energy.
That could be your base line of attack, haha, Jeb is low energy.
But he is!
Yes, he is. He’s like he’s still slightly stoned. But I bet it would get under his skin real fast, if you repeated it in every interview, and in the debates
So Jeb is low energy. Yeah, that would be easy.
Then the others are pretty easy actually. You don’t need to worry about those candidates who would be crushed in a general election like Ted Cruz or Dr Ben Carson. But take Carly Fiorina
She was a really bad CEO, the whole Board voted her out unanimously. She was on worst CEO lists. I can’t believe the Republicans are even promoting her candidacy
Its the woman thing, they need a token woman on that debate stage, because of Hillary. She’s a horrible candidate
Didn’t she lose her race in California
Yeah she was crushed by Barbara Boxer for Senate, lost by like 20 points. She’s poison in a general election. But think about it, Don, if one of the Governors or Senators says something about her business background, she can bullshit herself into a clear position, her cash flow this, her revenues that. You’re the business guy
And I’m way richer than she is
Carly ran that company into such a mess, its a disgrace. HP only grew revenues because she made that moronic acquisition of Compaq. I remember even thinking back then, what is she doing.
And then she fired 30,000 employees while buying 5 corporate jets.
Haha, yeah, that means she’s unelectable.
But Don, which Republican Governor or Senator is going to explain that to their voters? Rick Perry? He can’t even count to three
Yeah, and I did robo-calls for him, I felt so ashamed after that.
But yeah, then take Marco Rubio
Who is a nice guy, but he’s way too young for this and a one-term Senator, he’s way above his league.
What would the TV carricature rival say about Rubio in a debate?
That he sweats too much and drinks too much water
Hahahahaha you crack me up
Yeah, I could do this.
Don, you can do this in your sleep. You know them all, you’ve met them all, you know what their real weaknesses are. Take Scott Walker, the true conservative
Walker? Of Wisconsin? His state budget is a joke. He’s destroying the state. The roads are a mess, the schools are a disaster. His popularity is poison. He wouldn’t get re-elected dog catcher. He’s campaigning in Iowa only because he would face death threats in his home state of Wisconsin.
Haha yeah, thats what I mean. Someone should be saying these things. I mean, there are sensible moderate candidates running, who would be good for America and make an honest debate with Hillary
Yeah like Kasich and Pataki
Yeah, there are sensible ones in there, and say what you want about Jindal but he’s tried to get the Republicans back from being the loonie party and become once again a sensible party. And Rand Paul is reaching out to the black community, they are not all bad.
So if I did run, there is a ceiling of what, 25%
Yeah, 25% maybe 30%. But remember, if 15 rivals run for Iowa, you only need 20% to win. Then you get momentum and 25% can win you New Hampshire.
I could even win it. But that will be expensive
Maybe not. I think a normal politician like Hillary or me or anyone there running, we would have to pay a lot in TV advertising, at least 100 million in the primary season and 1 Billion dollars in the general election
I’m not paying a billion for this. Not even 100 million.
But Don, a celebrity
Yeah, a celebrity like you, would get on TV just by saying something outrageous
Like lets deport all Mexicans
Haha and if that doesn’t work, why not say all Mexicans are rapists and murderers
Hahahaha, yeah, rapists. And murderers. That would certainly get me on TV. This could be fun
Think of it as a deliberate parody of a candidate
Like Jon Stewart and the Daily Show but done live, without editing
Can you imagine being on Fox and then suddenly saying your favorite past president is not a Bush
I know, thanks but yes, can you imagine how conservative heads explode if ‘their’ Donald Trump says Bill Clinton was the best president in recent history? Haha, that would set the Fox people screaming with their hair on fire
Yes. That would be front line news on all TV channels.
It certainly would.
And then I’d suddenly say that Obamacare is not going far enough, the USA needs a socialist single-payer medical system like in Canada
And Fox would think of boycotting you
But they couldn’t boycott me, if I was at 20% and in first place in the polling
Not only that, but the very issue of a TV channel boycott would be news
Or I could boycott them!
Haha, yes, thats even better! Yes, you have an ongoing feud with Fox, boycotting them every few weeks. Its news when your boycott starts, and its news again, when the boycott ends. And you are in the news all the time
Which would mean the others have less TV coverage
Exactly. In fact, if they run TV ads, their ads will have almost no effect if you hog all the news air time.
I should charge them for using me to raise their viewerships.
Haha, yeah, thats true, and actually, if you were in first place, I bet the debates would get a huge boost in their viewership
They would, people love me
They do, Don, they do
The ratings would be the best they’ve ever been
Thats true. But now think, what if in those debates, you were to say that you want higher taxes for the rich
And that the Iraq war was a disaster
That would be actually quite healthy for the Republican party
Which is now infected by the Tea Party madness
Yeah, that would be funny. You running for real. And if you could keep coming up with outrageous things to say, you could stay on TV almost indefinitely, and where all rivals need 100 million to run a national campaign with TV ads, your campaign would cost you almost nothing
And I could release a new biography
I bet it would sell well
And I could sell hats
Haha yeah why not take Reagan’s motto - Lets Make America Great Again
Thats a great idea. Would look great on a hat. Totally my style. How was it
Lets Make America Great Again
Couldn’t it be ‘Make America Great Again’
Yeah, it could. Would fit better on bumber stickers
And on hats
Yeah I bet you could make millions just selling those hats
And I would like to inspire Americans to Make America Great Again
Yeah, no wonder they called him the Great Communicator. But remember, Don, that too will be an issue for you
What do you mean
Some journalist will notice its nearly the same as Reagan’s slogan. You should make that the issue of the day, you stealing from Reagan
So I should deny it
Vehemently yes, claim it is totally not the same
But anyone can see its exactly the same
No, Don, you’re forgetting. A sensible candidate admits the truth. The most delusional Republican extremist would never admit that truth. Think of Frank Underwood on House of Cards
Yes, yes, now I get it. Haha, yeah, I deny deny deny. Everything
So there is no similarity with my hat and Reagan’s slogan
Thats it. Deny everything. You’re playing a part. Imagine Nixon coming back and insisting still, that he is not a crook
Yeah, I could do this. Then after calling Mexicans murderers
Yes murderers and rapists, I would say, but I love Hispanics and they love me
hahaha, yes, yes, then add that they will vote for you by huge margins
By enormous margins. Huuuge.
Same with women, same with veterans
Hey, isn’t there that one loonie veterans group that has no members? I could arrange a fund-raiser with them on the condition that he endorses me
I’m sure he’d do that for 100 dollars haha, they are nearly broke if I recall
Yeah, then I can claim the veterans love me, even after I mock McCain’s heroism
Haha, yeah, do that the George W Bush way, on an aircraft carrier
Or on a battleship, in front of the big guns
Yeah, I can see you, wearing the hat ‘Make America Great Again’ with two giant navy guns alongside your head.
This is easy
And much more fun than running another season of Apprentice, you could give that to you daughter to run
She’d love that. Yeah this actually makes a lot of sense. So when do I quit
Well, ideally you destroy the worst threats, say you get Walker, Perry, Bush, Christie, Fiorina out of the race, then you could say you’ve had enough, and just announce you quit. But schedule your book launch well before that, so you get another bestseller to your list
So run maybe through November or December
You could also go for the Iowa and New Hampshire elections, February, if your polling holds.
Haha, and then I could of course drop the bomb about the farce of the Benghazi hearings and that clown Trey Gowdy.
Haha, gosh, Hillary would love you for that. She’d appoint you Ambassador to Monaco if you wanted some diplomatic immunity in a casino country.
You're on. But Bill, you're not recording this, are you?
Don't worry, Don, its only going to our old server in our basement. Its not used for anything relevant, I think it stores Hillary's emails. Nobody will ever get to it.
(This blog is a joke entry, by Tomi T Ahonen/HatRat, no Trumps or Clintons were harmed or even waterboarded in creating this joke)
My latest serious blog about US 2016 election is this, the first analysis anywhere that does the tull delegate math for the nomination fight. Lots of math stats and very detailed.
My next poltiical blog will be the 'form book' covering all candidates from polling and fund-raising to debates, electability and path to nomination. Also includes their sugar-daddy billonaires
My previous joke blog about the US 2016 election is this: on the return of the GOP clown car
And if you want my 2016 previews, the general election preview is here (very long, detailed, full of numbers and stats) and the preview of the nomination battle 2016 is here.
Finally, as this blog is a tech/mobile/new media blog, the last time I discussed the use of tech in politics to win using modern digital media (2012 election) the deepest analysis of tech use in an election, with tons and tons of cases and stats, is here. This analysis has been referenced to in several published books already, its the deepest of its kind in the world.
Meanwhile, in non-political stuff, my main focus here IS tech and mobile and new media. My last blog about those topics was an update of mobile industry stats from subscribers to mobile internet to messaging.